Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
