We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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