I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Rumble strips road head = magical
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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