I feel like abortions should bother me more
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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