Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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