Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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