I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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