yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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