i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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