I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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