I will die if light touches me.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think i got beer on your cat.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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