Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This baby is an asshole
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
