What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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