I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
ttyl tear gas
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.