i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.