Can Purell be used as lube?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.