just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment