I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"