this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize