dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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