She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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