After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
