In America we eat man semen.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
