Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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