Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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