he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
