just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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