yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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