hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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