yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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