its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
