My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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