the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize