When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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