Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
