MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Girls should come with a carfax report
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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