I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
