when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
