margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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