even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
