Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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