just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
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Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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