the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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