i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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