literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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