My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it