we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.