Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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