He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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