I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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