Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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