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people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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