every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize