Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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