member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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