no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
