worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just had sex on a roof
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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