i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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