Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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