i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
