I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
