Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
