It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
